Live the future you want now
#36 Questions to ponder as we head into a period of reflection and goal-setting
They say that the days are long, but the years are short.
It’s true.
And it has ramifications for the way we parent.
When the days are long, we get caught up in the housework, and the cooking, and the shopping, and packing the lunchboxes, and kissing skinned knees, and reading books together at bedtime. There’s plenty of beautiful moments, but it’s easy to get caught up in a routine of just making it through to the end of the day.
Then we look back at those typical moments of reflection – like New Years Eve – and realise that our year was much the same as the year before. This might cause us to set grand goals for the year ahead, but many of us will find that the year speeds ahead before we get to many of them, and at the end of next year we’ll probably look back again, realising that little has actually changed.
If we want to live a life of meaning, there’s two key questions we need to ask ourselves. What do you want your family to be like in 5 years (or 10, or 20)? What’s one small step you can start doing now to help get you there?
This year, as a family we set a goal of doing a monthly hike. On a typical outing we walk about 3 km in 2 hours. Our pace is slow. Often frustratingly slow. Additionally, there’s plenty of complaining, and frequent cries of “I’m so tired!”
Some days, it doesn’t feel like it’s worth it.
But I have a hope that in 5 years, we’ll be able to do overnight hiking trips with the kids. In 10 or 15 years, they might even join us on week-long hiking trips through some of Australia’s most wild places. That’s a dream I have for our family.
But we can’t get there by starting in 5 years. We need to start now. If hiking together as a family is a habit, we’ll still be doing it in 5 years. And we’ll be better for the years of experience.
We can’t wish our family to look a certain way in the future if we’re not working towards it now. We can’t think that we’ll all enjoy reading books cozily in the living room on a rainy day if you’re not reading picture books to the kids now. We can’t envision a yearly family holiday with all the grandkids in the future if we’re not making time for holidays with the kids now. Sure, it may happen. But making it a habit now means that it will be easier to arrive there.
So here’s an exercise you can do as we head into a period of reflection and goal-setting:
Ask yourself (either alone, with your partner, or with the kids involved too) questions like these:
What would you like family life to look like in 10 years time? What goals would you like to have achieved? What traditions would you like to have?
Then, ask questions like:
How can you scale those things down and start working on them now? What habits can you build now to work towards those goals? How can you modify the traditions you’d like to have for your current life stage?
So many people wish their lives away, waiting for the right time before they start living the lives they want.
But the years are short.
Don’t wait. Start living the future you want now!
I'd love to hear your thoughts! What’s a 10-year goal you have for your family? How will you start working on it now?
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