Ten things you DON'T need for your new baby

Even though they're on every list of 'essential' newborn items

Hey friends

Fun fact about me: I hate capitalism. I find it indulgent. Wasteful. Short sighted. There’s a lot more reasons, but I prefer to save them for complaining to my husband about it. He loves hearing me complain about capitalism, especially because he’s an accountant.

Capitalism seems to strike at big life stages, encouraging us to buy, buy, buy.

Birthday party? You need to buy a balloon arch, a popcorn machine, table runners, party favours, a new outfit.

Getting married? You need to buy cake toppers, place settings, stationary, an ice sculpture, chair covers, plus a balloon arch, a popcorn machine, table runners, party favours, and a new outfit.

Having a baby? Well, that’s pretty much the biggest life adjustment you’ll experience, so you’ll need to buy all of the above when you throw both a gender reveal party and then a baby shower. At least, that’s what we can be made to think from the curated feeds of our favourite social media influencers.

The pressure doesn’t stop there though. Those same social media influencers show off the perfect nurseries they have prepared for their babies. Mother and baby magazines are filled with images of happy babies surrounded by all the stuff they need. There are huge expos devoted to making you think you need to buy ALL THE THINGS for your baby.

I will be honest. There are a few things that you unquestionably do need for your baby. Clothes are good. Nappies save you from dealing with a lot of mess. And a car seat is a must if you plan on driving anywhere (we’ve come a long way from the days when our grandparents were transported in the car just sitting on their parent’s lap, not a seat belt in sight).

But beyond that, there’s a lot of things that we’re told are essential, which really… kinda… aren’t.

Here’s a few:

1.       Change table

For our first, we had a change table. With our second, we had a change mat set up on some drawers. With our third, we gave up on all that. We just change nappies on the floor, on the bed, on the couch… with two other kids to supervise, moving to a dedicated nappy changing station just isn’t a priority. Brad, who writes Some Other Dad, concurred with me on this one, and adds that “when you’ve got a poo explosion the last thing you’re thinking about is moving into the room where the changing table is!”. Change tables = not essential. However, if you are going the route of not having a dedicated changing space, having a portable nappy caddy is a really good idea. A small basket or bag topped up with nappies, wipes, and bum cream is all you need to make nappy time happen anywhere. Pro tip: For the newborn days, add burp cloths and a spare outfit for a truly portable and accessible one-stop shop.

2.       Bassinet or cot

I wrote here about safe co-sleeping and how choosing to co-sleep can be the right choice for many families. If you’re expecting a baby, deciding on co-sleeping early can save you a lot of money and time in setting up a cot only to use it as a laundry basket later.

3.       Nappy bag

While it is true that babies need a lot of gear even for short trips out of the house, you do not need a bag that is marketed as a nappy bag. You may choose to get a dedicated nappy bag, because it comes with a matching change mat, or because of the cute pattern. However, any bag can be just as good. My current nappy bag is actually marketed as a 24 can beer backpack, but I love it as a nappy bag because the insulated compartment fits enough food for a full day of adventuring for me and my three kids, plus it has enough space in the other pockets for spare nappies, band aids, water bottles, and all the other essentials that I need at this stage for the type of activities we do. So, when buying your own nappy bag, consider what you’ll be using it for both now and in 3 years. Will you need to fit enough nappies for 2 kids? Will you need to carry bottles of formula? Does it need to hold up to rain and mud? Then decide on the bag that will work best, even if it’s not marketed as a nappy bag.

4.       Newborn bath

This is a big item that will be used for about 3 months, and then take up a lot of space in storage. Consider either borrowing one from a friend or clean your baby in other ways. Small infants fit in the bathroom sink. Bigger ones fit in the laundry sink. Babies of all ages can join you in the shower, and you get the added benefit of some skin-to-skin time.

5.       Baby toys

Babies, as a rule, do not play with baby toys. They play with empty toilet paper rolls (and full toilet paper rolls if they can get their hands on them), they like to stack plastic bowls, they enjoy chewing on spatulas and pastry brushes, and will prefer throwing around a lemon to throwing around a ball. Save your money for buying toys they actually want when they get older (like yet another monster truck to add to their collection of a hundred other monster trucks).

Baby with her preferred toy - a used RAT test with accompanying empty cardboard box

6.       Baby monitor

Babies are encouraged to sleep in the same room as an adult for at least the first six to twelve months, for both night and day sleeps. This practice reduces the risk of sudden infant death. Having a baby monitor is not a substitute for sharing a room, despite some manufacturers falsely claiming that their monitor prevents sudden infant death. Instead, baby monitors can increase parental anxiety as parents are more aware of their baby’s every sound and movement, preventing the parent from relaxing during nap time. Instead, if room sharing can’t be done during the day (which is particularly the case when there are older siblings around), check in on baby regularly, and rest assured that your baby will let you know when they are awake and want your attention.

7.       Nursing pillow

Nursing or breastfeeding pillows will set you back at least $40, and while they may seem like a necessary item while you’re first figuring out positions and latching, it will quickly become an item that simply clutters up your house. A regular pillow works perfectly well if you feel like you need the support, but realistically, within a few months you’ll probably be able to breastfeed while answering the door, showering, or even while going for a hike (speaking from experience, in that I have done all those things while breastfeeding).

8.       Rocking chair

This may look fancy in your baby’s nursery, but a yoga ball works even better. Most babies have the magic ability to know when you are sitting down, and sitting on a rocking chair often doesn’t fool them one bit. Yoga balls provide just the right amount of bounce to settle cranky babies, and bouncing is much more sustainable than walking or rocking. I don’t know why baby stores don’t stock yoga balls right next to the rocking chair section… my only guess is that they wouldn’t make as much profit on a $30 ball as they do on a $300 rocking chair.

9.       Fancy pram

Now, I’m not saying that you don’t need a pram at all. Just be mindful that your baby will probably spend less time in it than you think, because most babies prefer mum to the pram, and most toddlers like to walk independently. Also, just like with the nappy bag, think about how you will use it in 3 years. Do you plan on taking it on rough trails? Will it need to hold more than one child? Pick something that is practical now, and in the future.

Evidence that prams can be useful - the right pram can carry two preschoolers, two balance bikes, two helmets, AND the library books.

10.   Baby swings and bouncers

Fancy, all-in-one, motorised rocking swings can easily set you back over $300. Swings and rockers are touted as a must-have item as they allow you to put the baby down while you get on with other things, and they come replete with toys, swinging, and even vibrating to convince your baby that being in that swing or rocker is a great place to be. However, the truth is that your baby either wants to be held, or they don’t. If they don’t want to be held, the floor will do just as well, and gives them the benefit of being able to move around. But if they do want to be held, no amount of motorised rocking will work to convince them otherwise. In those moments, know that hope is not lost.

Which brings me to a teaser of next week’s article… where I will be discussing the one baby item you actually do need.

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I'd love to hear your thoughts! What baby item did you buy that wasn’t as good as you thought it would be?

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